Something compelled me to take a look back at this blog last week. Seeing that I saved drafts that I never published from SEVEN YEARS ago made me want to give this a shot. It's just...there are so many formats: regular journal, bullet journal, notion, one second a day, social media. How do you choose just one place to put your thoughts? Answer: simple yet not simple: you don't. Of course. Here's giving this thing another shot, just to see if it sticks and if it works for me.
My life is about to change in some very big ways. I've been in DC, living a pretty comfortable, happy, easy life. In a month, I'm packing up my things and heading out to the PCT, with the plan to settle back home in California after. I'm going with my boyfriend, N. I wonder what his trail name will be!
It's probably much simpler on a person to just do the PCT rather than PCT plus a cross country move. What can I say? We like a challenge.
Why am I going to uproot it all? In the beginning, this was easy to answer. For the adventure of a lifetime and many other reasons that have to do with living life to the fullest and growing as a person. That probably deserves its own post. Moving to be close to my family. Easy. Obvious. At first.
I knew the PCT would be difficult but I didn't expect to be challenged this way so soon. You think you have your reasons nailed down and then life makes you repeatedly make the choice of the PCT in the face of tempting, logical life perks that are great for your future long-term.
This past week and a half, N&I got sucked into a vortex of considering postponing our trip to next year. It made us to solidly reaffirm our reasons of saying yes, even though we're less prepared than we hoped to be. Hoped to hike more, backpack more, save more. We're going to be scraping by but be out there just the same. What I know for sure is that I don't want to be a person who gets stuck in the comfortable and easy.
It's clear to see why N&I went through this phase of doubtfulness. I was waist deep in not wanting to leave my life the way it is, yearning to keep it all the same, and fearing all the things I'll be saying goodbye to. Having to convince N to not push it back made me fight for the trail and unknowingly, give myself the permission to begin letting go.
PCT lesson #1: Drop the idea of perfection. Doing it imperfectly and learning during the process is more important than waiting to be perfectly prepared and never getting around to it. Sure, it's obvious, but it's hard to live by. So we practice :)
